Intro and Thesis Paragraph

Anxiety, enthusiasm, and awe surrounded me my first day at UCF. All I could do was walk around with a big smile on my face trying to absorb every detail and fleck of craziness that engulfed campus. The day was extremely hot with the sun beating on my shoulders and a soft breeze gliding through my hair. Walking through the Student Union was the most hectic aspect of the afternoon. I had seldom been surrounded by so many people in my life. My ears tingled with the buzz of meaningless chatter, music, and club leaders shouting the main ideas of their select group and shoving flyers in my hands. Yelling the benefits of marijuana and crusading to try to make pot legal made me laugh out loud-- not because I was completely against the cause, but instead because where I'm from no one would dare fight for an ideal so radical. Most people sauntering through the area expressed no interest in the objective, others nodded their heads in agreement, and more conservative students shook their heads in disagreement to the outlandish statements.

I never felt like I belonged in my hometown of Jackson, Missouri, a small town near the boot-heel along the murky, brown Mississippi River. Jackson is a guarded, simple town with certain, basic expectations. The entire town gathers and squeezes into the high shcool football stadium ever Friday night home game and before school started the inhabitants would participate in a small carnival-like celebration called Home-comers; if one didnt attend either event, it was severely looked down upon. Jackson is also around 95% republican and if one happened to be part of the 5% that signed onto the ballot as a democrat would never admit it--proclaiming such information as having favor with a democratic candidate is grounds for flogging and a public stoning. Nothing radical ever occurs in Jackson. The high school graduating class of 2008 decided to camp out on the football field as a sort of prank and the school had the police arrive and escort everyone away. The hamlet in general is simple and possesses certain expectations.

Arriving onto campus shook my entire world and dropped it upside down--I love it. I relish the freedom of ideas and being able to participate in crazy activities like Tent City. I can actively voice my opinion on an issue instead of burying it inside of me like a treasure chest. Small towns with a strong community of white Christians are primarily conservative and strangle any liberal opinions someone else might possess. Only when one escapes from the restrictive atmosphere do new ideas and concepts become experienced due to different ethnicities and religions. Now, strict older generations are fading and free-thinking youths are overshadowing traditional ideals.

Commentary Outline

Commentary Assignment Outline

Intro- Experiencing a college/liberal atmosphere for the first time. I was intimidated and overwhelmed by the chaos occurring everywhere. 

Body Paragraph 1- Describe life in a small town in Missouri. With this I hope it will show contrast between the intro and the 1st body paragraph. The intro paragraph demonstrates the unfamiliar surroundings and changes I experienced at UCF contrasting with the uptight, familiar atmosphere of Jackson. Being at UCF was abnormal to me. THESIS STATEMENT. Conservativeness of small towns versus liberalness of large cities and universities and what the general cause or reasoning may be for this trend. How this trend is changing-- older generation ideals are dwindling as younger generations are becoming larger and their ideas are overpowering older concepts. 

Body Para 2-Second unfamiliar experience at UCF and how that contrasts with a similar experience in MO. 

Body Para 3-Explain and support why larger cities tend to be more liberal vs. conservative small towns. This particular issue holds the country back in aspects. I, for example, only heard one side of the story--the conservative side. When a lot of students graduate and move on to college, they change their beliefs because they’ve heard and analyzed the other side of the story. 

SUPPORT:

~larger towns have a larger population of black people (i.e liberal views)(Liberal Cities, or Black Cities?) 

~More religious diversity in larger cities (Christian beliefs trigger conservative ideology) This evidence between the first bullet and second will hopefully explain why Jackson, Missouri and other small towns around the country tend to be more conservative, while larger cities/college campuses are more liberal. Jackson is primarily a white, christian community and UCF has a myriad of cultures and religions residing on campus presenting more liberal views. 

~Possibly discuss younger generation ideals versus older generation beliefs. This point will demonstrate the changing atmosphere of smaller towns. Jackson’s youth were primarily liberal which threw off the previous Jackson trend of conservatism in the area. 

Conclusion 

~Quick wrap up of my opinion of the situation. 

Analyzing a Commentary

1. What is the trend or situation on which the commentary focuses?

-The FCC is more lenient towards certain programs and networks, and certain things are considered to be more acceptable on certain networks.  This particular event is concerning public nudity that is displayed on different networks and how the audience reacts to such phenomena, for certain events are reacted to differently depending upon when and where they occur. 

2. Does the author give the reader an interesting introduction to the issue? Why or why not?

-The author introduces a perfect example to the reader; The Jackson/Timberlake incident from the Superbowl halftime show.  He then expands on how this issue has escalated since this particular event occurred.  Poniewozik's introduction leads to him to give specific examples of the FCC reacting differently to certain events, just as the viewing public does as well.

3. Does the author explain the context of the issue? How in-depth does he or she go? What do you think this signifies regarding the intended audience of the commentary?

-Poniewozik goes extremely in-depth by utilizing multiple examples, facts, and quotes; showing both sides of the argument.   The commentary is not a one-sided argument and appeals to both sides of the audience.  However, his commentary may appeal to a more mature audience that may view the events at a deeper level than just being "obscene".

4. What are the possible causes of the trend or situation the author explores?

-The changing of the times has led to the FCC requiring stricter policy implementation.  Nowadays, for an artist to become popular, they must appeal to the general public through showing themselves on the verge of nudity.  To compensate for this, the FCC must regulate certain events and networks stricter than others, depending on the intended audience.  Obviously Nickelodeon and MTV, who have a younger viewing audience, will be regulated much stricter than the Lifetime Movie Channel.

5. What examples or observations does the author give to back their belief that these are the possible causes?

-The author gives examples of other television shows and events that would have been considered "equally offensive" by the FCC, but were never shined upon with the same light.  He also writes about the nudity that exists within today's commercials and media.  Nudity is utilized by the media because it gets people's attention, and many of today's most popular shows like Survivor expose a lot of nudity.

6. What is the author's stance on the topic?

-The author did not find the "Superbowl incident" to be offensive, for there are plenty other incidents that are equally unacceptable that went unnoticed.

7. What significance does the author see in this trend or situation?

-Poniewozik views the subject matter as insignificant, but focuses rather on the audience's reaction to the specific events as well as how the FCC treats certain networks differently.  He views the problem as a whole and not only relating to the single Superbowl event.

Austin Thomas

Adam Stern

Jade Freeman

Letter to Friend and 5 Questions

Five Questions My Commentary Might Answer

1. Why do smaller towns tend to be more conservative over larger cities/ universities? 
2. Why are certain acts severely looked down upon if they cause no damage or if it is an opinion?

It conflicts with their own values, opinions, and beliefs.

1. Are the abstract ideas and concepts of larger cities a contributing factor to why people might want to move there over small towns?

Yes

1. Are small towns becoming more liberal throughout time and the changing with government or do towns stay conservative?

Yes

1. Do the younger generations that tend to be more liberal conflict with the conservative, older generations?    

Chyeaaaaaa

1.How do you know what you know? (evidence)

How the town was created. If the creators were created during a more liberal time(Great Depression). 

1. Who are you to the subject? (perspective)

I am a person who lived in a small town, but wasn’t as separated.

3.How is this even connected to other events? (patterns or opposing forces)

Voting

1. What if things were different? (suppositions/predictions)

Voting would be closer. It would not be a one sided argument. 

5.Why is this important? (significance)

It affects the voting outcome which in turn could change the form of certain policies that are one sided.

Hey Coco!

I love UCF and all of the wild aspects and peculiar experiences that have taken place. The complexity and unexpectedness makes Jackson seem even more plain and ordinary than I remember. Three experiences I plan on exploring in my composition paper is my first day at school when a club was fighting to convince people of the benefits of legalizing marijuana, and Tent City, and a random guy in a lime green jump suit that covered every inch of his body, including his face, and holding a bunch of green balloons.

I remember how awkward, scared, and intimidated I was my first day of school witnessing mayhem I wasn’t accustomed to. Walking through the front of the student union was the most chaotic event I had witnessed in a long time. At least eight organizations crowded around the entrance shoving flyers at me and chanting the main points of their club. Screaming the benefits and crusading to legalize marijuana was by far the funniest ,and my favorite, organization.  I had never been so close to a cause so rebellious. Jackson would never allow an activity so irresponsible to continue.  

Arriving onto campus shook my entire world and dropped it upside down--I loved it. I loved the freedom of ideas and being able to participate in crazy activities like Tent City. I am Alice and UCF my Wonderland.  

I trudged from parking garage D to classroom building one on slow Monday morning dreading that I was going to math instead of sleeping. About halfway to my destination, I lifted my head and observed about 10-15 tents set up on one of the grassy plains in Memory Mall. Seeing this odd display reminded me of the seniors getting escorted from the football field and I figured it was only a matter of time before this group of rambunctious students were told to vacate the area. To my surprise, the next morning the cluster of tents were sitting on the dewy grass. While other students merely walked past unimpressed, I was drinking the experience in wishing I were a participant in Tent City.

My focus at this point is to compare the radical experiences on campus versus the close-minded, guarded atmosphere of Jackson. Do you remember the strict rules and odd expectations of our town? Home-comers, Friday night football games, and the night all of the 2008 graduating seniors were escorted home from camping on the football field all seem to contradict the imperturbable feel of campus. Do you have any idea why those seniors were told to leave the football field when they weren’t causing any damage? (Other than trespassing) Do you feel that younger generations conflict with older generations because their ideals tend to be more easy-going? I want to figure out why Jackson and other towns around ours were more conservative where as larger towns and universities all tend to be extremely liberal. Do you have any idea of why that might be? I kind of want to focus on the extreme conservative feel of Jackson and contrast that with the liberalness of a campus atmosphere or even a large city and ponder if there is any connection between the two. 

 

Commentary Assignment-Assignment for October 1,2009

1. Legalization of marijuana, Tent City, the guy in the green spandex suit with the green balloons. 
2. Seeing Michael Jordan
3. UCF trying to break a world record by giving the most flu shots in one day. 

Anxiety, enthusiasm, and awe surrounded me the first day of college. All I could do was walk around with a big smile on my face trying to absorb every detail and fleck of craziness that engulfed campus. It was an extremely hot day with the sun beating on my shoulders slowly rewarding me with a nice bronze color. Walking through the Student Union was the most hectic aspect of the afternoon. I had seldom been surrounded by so many people in my life. My ears tingled with the buzz of meaningless chatter, music, and club leaders shouting the main ideas of their select group. Yelling the benefits of marijuana and crusading to try to make pot legal made me laugh out loud--not because I was completely against the cause, but instead because where I’m from no one would dare fight for a cause so radical. Most people sauntering through the area expressed no interest in the cause, others nodded their heads in agreement, and more conservative students  shook their heads in disagreement to the outlandish statements. 

I never felt like I belonged in my hometown of Jackson, Missouri, a small town near the boot heal along the murky Mississippi River. Jackson is a guarded, simple town with certain, basic expectations. The entire town would gather and squeeze into the high school football stadium every Friday night home game and before school started the inhabitants would participate in a small carnival-like celebration called Homecomers; if one didn’t attend either event, it was severely looked down upon. Jackson was also around 95% republican and if one happened to be part of the %5 that signed onto the ballot as a democrat would never admit it--proclaiming such information as having favor with a democratic candidate is grounds for flogging and a public stoning. Nothing radical ever occurred in Jackson. The high school graduating class of 2008 decided to camp out on the football field as a sort of prank and the school had the police arrive and escort everyone away. The hamlet in general was simple. 

Arriving onto campus shook my entire world and dropped it upside down--I loved it. I loved the freedom of ideas and being able to participate in crazy activities like Tent City. I am Alice and UCF my Wonderland.  

I trudged from parking garage to classroom building one on a slow Monday morning dreading that I was going to math instead of sleeping. About halfway to my destination, I lifted my head and observed about 10-15 tents set up on one of the grassy plains in Memory Mall. Seeing this odd display reminded me of the seniors getting escorted from the football field and I figured it was only a matter of time before this group of rambunctious students were told to vacate the area. To my surprise, the next morning the cluster of tents were sitting on the dewy grass. While other students merely walked past unimpressed, I was drinking the experience in wishing I were a participant in Tent City.   Alice was loving Wonderland more than she anticipated she would.